My Break-up with Social Media (Finally…)

We as humans in Western societies need to make some serious changes in our lifestyles if we’re going to bring about the healing that’s needed for both people and planet.

If you find that I have recently unfriended or unfollowed you, please don’t take it personal. Know that it’s not you.

I think most have a love-hate relationship with social media. Me? It’s more hate than love… Sure, Iike everyone, I enjoy funny/inspiring gifs, seeing things my friends are doing, and the little dopamine hits I get when people like my content, start following me, etc. But really, at the end of the day, social media has a negative net-gain on my mental health and well-being. So, after a final straw a few nights ago, my ”social media camel’s back” is broken and I’m finally ready for some real change in this area of my life.

Really, I want to just delete my accounts and be completely free of the retched digital leech, but sadly, I also realize social media has come to play a role (they say it’s important…) in the world of modern-day business, and apparently having a social media presence is supposed to make you look “legit”. Hence, because I do have a private practice, I suppose I’ll keep a business presence for the time being. However, in order to have a business account, Facebook also makes you have a personal account. So, you can’t just delete your personal account. Yes, I could make a new fake profile, but then I have to confront the fact that social media has come to play a huge communication role in the small rural community where I live. So, I sometimes have to use my personal account (with my recognizable profile) in order to engage in local community forums, stay apprised of local news and events, etc.

So here I am; in a position where it appears I need a personal Facebook/Instagram profile, but I don’t want the extra psychological baggage that goes with it. This is where my overhaul comes into play.

It’s time to unfriend/unfollow a lot of folks except close family members, super close friends, and a few other select persons who have a current, meaningful presence in my life. For those I unfriend/unfollow, sorry, it’s not personal. I still love and care for you very much, and yes, I DO care what’s going on in your life. But let’s face it; we don’t have a lot of direct connection at present, and while your kids are adorable, I don’t remember their names, how old they are, and whether they play flute or football. And to be honest, I don’t have the mental capacity to keep up with that level of detail in your life. Sorry, it’s true; and I also know you don’t have the capacity to keep up with the intricate details of my life either (and I don’t expect you to).

Our world is fucked up, folks, plain and simple (and I don’t use “fuck” casually in my writing). Our planet is dying (along with many of the other non-human beings we share it with) because of several hundred years of destructive human behavior. And sadly, most people don’t seem to give a shit (or even believe we inhabit a living planet in the first place). It feels like they just want to keep on perpetuating the same ol’ materialistic, extractive, distractive, and destructive culture we’ve inherited. Me? I’m over it (and many of you are too, I think). We’re all mentally and spiritually sick, and many of us are physically sick, too. We’re over-worked, over-stressed, over-distracted, and under-nourished (in various ways). Most of us are addicted to a host of unhealthy foods, substances, gadgets, and practices through which we are emotionally seeking to find our sense of “Self.” And it’s not working.

Social media is one of those distracting and destructive addictions many of us struggle with. Yes, consciously, we THINK we’re using it for good. Sure, we might admit we spend a little too much time indulging, but in reality, we’re addicted; and the harm it does to our souls far outweighs the good we think it does. We’re using it as a drug—a dopamine kick just like one might use porn or cocaine. While we THINK we’re doing good things by sharing cute pictures of our family, our workouts, vacations, our political rants, etc.,  we’re really just doing it with a selfish intent. We’re not thinking of others and whether our content is really adding value to the world. Instead, at the deep emotional core, we are just desperately hoping a whole bunch of people will click “like”, or better yet, make praising comments on our meaningless posts just so we get a little dopamine reminder that others remember we exist. Sorry to be blunt, but it’s true. And I myself am included in that same pathetic boat of tricking myself into posting stupid crap just so I get you to like it.

At the end of the day, 99% of the content in my feeds are junk. Again, sorry to be blunt, but that includes the selfies at the Starbucks drive-thru with your caramel macchiato. Sure, you look cute and all, but it added zero value to my day. And sadly, I can point out scores of pointless things I’ve posted over the years that didn’t add value to yours—and I sincerely apologize for that. The only value those posts produced was a lame reminder that 26 people felt generous enough to pause their Mach 90 feed scroll just long enough to tap their finger on a button to let me know they saw it (and some probably just liked my photos with the desperate hope that I’d like their’s in return).

I know this is a really harsh-sounding post, but I think the times are such that harsh critiques of our culture are heavily warranted. We as humans in Western societies need to make some serious changes in our lifestyles if we’re going to bring about the healing that’s needed for both people and planet.

Right now, I feel called to direct my energies to healing work, and to do that, I need to devote more of my attention to the lands where I physically live, the people with whom I currently share community, and the people placed in my path who are in need of my gifts. I think that’s what we’re all being call to do. Our attentions are spread too shallow and thin and we’re all starving for real love and connection. I’ve come to believe that we will only find the full and complete connection we yearn for by reclaiming relationship with our Mother Earth, and by forging deep, meaningful relationships with the people we share physical space with in our respective lands.

So, going forward, you will only find periodic content added to my public business profile; and I promise I will only post content that has been thoughtfully created, and that I truly hope will add value to the world.

Blessings to all.

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